Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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