You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
