if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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