1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
