haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
