dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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