Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Randomize
