Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
