omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
