Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
