we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
