My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
