we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Randomize
