so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
