super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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