What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
It's shark week go big or go home
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
