also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
