you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
he laminated a picture of his dick.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
