It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Randomize
