so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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