I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
