you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
