i wish starbucks made bloody marys
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
