we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
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