I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
3pm strippers are depressing
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
