now i know why i became what i already was.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
