YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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