He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
