Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
