I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
