I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Randomize
