It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
