do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
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