Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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