they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Randomize
