you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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