You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
