Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
