So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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