Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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