I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
