I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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