Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
