The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize
