Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
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