Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
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