please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
