No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
