I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
We need a shit load of segways right now
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Randomize
