the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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